Stupid Amerians :P

My Grandmother: "I can't find the sloppy disk!"

Customer: "I ran Microwave Defrost, but it didn't help.(Referring to Microsoft Defrag.)

Customer: "I'm having trouble with Internet Exposer."

Me: "So, what's your ICQ number?"
Girl: (staring) "Why do you need an icy cucumber?"

Co-Worker: "I just bought a new computer."
Me: "Oh? How fast is it?"
Co-Worker: "It's a 56K."
Me: "No, no, the processor speed."
Co-Worker: "Ohh!! DVD."
Me: "..."

This one cracked me up :D
Customer: "Yeah, my Internet Explorer can only save pictures as bumpy files."
(He was saving them as .bmp files.)

Customer: "Backsplash. Backsplash?"
Tech Support: "Backslash."
Customer: "C colon backspl...backslash."

Cable Guy: "Cadle Mobem?"
Me: "Cable Modem."
Cable Guy: "We don't have that."

My Teacher: "Do you have a booty disk on hand?"
Me: (almost losing it) "Don't you mean a boot disk?"
My Teacher: "Oh no. I need a booty disk to make the system booty up."